Mac Crazies

When I first got into computers in 1995, I always thought of Mac users as some kind of alien race.  I didn’t really know anything about Macs, except what little my middle school computer teacher told us, like the fact that if you move the mouse too fast the computer will crash.  (Fortunately, I didn’t have to worry about crashing it by clicking both mouse buttons at the same time, since the Mac mouse only had (and still, only has) one button.)

Over the years, I slowly came to believe that Mac users weren’t actually subhuman, they were just different.  And just because multiple mouse buttons were a little too much for them, and just because their keyboard had two delete keys but no backspace key, they weren’t any less intelligent than people who use computers for things like science and engineering and math.

I was almost ready to begin to believe that really, they’re just like the rest of us.  Until now.  I have now given up on the idea that Mac users are anything other than hopelessly lost.

As wirednews reports, last week a guy submitted a story to about how he got a new Apple G5 for Christmas.  But since he wanted a Dell, he decided to gut the Mac and replace its innards with PC components.  He took photos of the transformation, and they were posted on the OC site too.

The Mac community simultaneously suffered a heart attack and a brain aneurism because of the shock and anger at what this man had done to an Apple computer.  He received thousand of emails from around the world:

The mail he did receive was full of nice, kind thoughts like death threats, insults and all kinds of colorful invective.

"I hope your PC blows up and leaves your miserable face disfigured forever," read one.  "You will surely burn in hell for an eternity for this one."

Another said Andy should be hung by his testicles and set on fire.

"Turning a perfectly good dual G5 into a crappy PC was the ticket that got you to hell," wrote another, citing the common eternal damnation theme.  "And if you were in front of me I’d pop a corn-born Teflon bullet from my Glock in your f***ing face."

It wasn’t just hate-filled e-mail.  Haddock labeled Andy "possibly the most stupid person on the planet." ...

Andy said some of the mail commented on his troubled psyche and warned of future mental problems.

Now here’s the funny part.  When Andy revealed that it was just a joke that he came up with to spite a Mac-loving friend, the Mac fanatics didn’t believe it -- they said he really did it, and now he was lying to protect himself !!  That is how far-gone these people are: they’re so full of their own pretentious crap that they actually believe that they somehow instill fear into PC users!

That is just so pathetic and naive and preposterous and sad, all rolled into one.

Posted by Anthony on 6 replies


01. Feb 7, 2004 at 09:15am by Roger Roelofs:

So I take it that you think all Islamic people are terrorists and all Christians are abortion clinic bombers?  PS.  ’Christians’ is not in your spell check dictionary.

02. Feb 7, 2004 at 01:03pm by Anthony:

...I rest my case.

03. Feb 7, 2004 at 02:02pm by *amanda*:

Just in case that was a serious post, I don’t think you realize how much Mac users are tormented by non-Mac users all their lives.  It gets to be a touchy point.  Some people are tired of being taunted about it and react loudly.  I’m not one of them.

In case you weren’t serious, please desist!

So anyway, I ordered a 80GB hard drive, fire wire, and my dad ordered the upgraded OS X (Panther) and I installed it on the fire wire drive.  I’m running the new OS on my drive with a table-lamp looking iMac.  It’s very fast!!!  Except for the size; I couldn’t afford a pocket-sized one.

BTW, I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your sister, but your mom’s post was awesome, she is a cool lady.

04. Feb 8, 2004 at 03:09am by andy:

i’d kill to have a mac to run pro tools on, but those people are ridiculous, that guy should put that gun to his own head and just do away with himself.  better for the earth.

05. Feb 9, 2004 at 02:14am by Patrick Copland:

You have to admit, the Macs blow the Wintel stuff away.  Their future is pretty rosy now that they are based on BSD.

06. Feb 9, 2004 at 11:50pm by Anthony:

Nah.  I don’t think they blow the Wintel stuff away.  (And certainly not the Linux/Intel stuff.)  Macs are definitely pretty, but performance-wise they can’t cut it.  Call me crazy, but I just don’t believe that the entire computing universe revolves around Photoshop filters.  Nor do I think that anyone but the Mac Faithful is impressed by "comparisons" in which those filters (optimized for the Mac) run "faster" on a Mac than a PC.  But that is a whole other issue.

I do agree that turning the Mac into a PC was a good move.  (A computer running Unix on an IBM processor is a PC, by any rational appraisal.)  Still, I wouldn’t say it makes Apple’s future rosy.  Their market share is as negligible as ever, and they have just a trickle of profit.  For all the exciting things that Apple has come up with over the years, nothing has ever had an important effect (in terms of Apple’s profitability) on many people outside the Mac community itself.

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