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Best Way Out

If you’re hiking alone in the woods, and you come upon a bear (or the bear comes upon you...), and the bear starts coming after you, what do you do?

- Stand still and hope he doesn’t hurt you
- Pick up the biggest rocks that you can throw accurately,
  and throw them at his head
- Shoot him in the face repeatedly with your BB gun
- Run away and hope you can outrun him
- Some combination of the above
- Something else entirely

I’m curious to hear what anyone thinks would maximize the chances of survival in this situation.  Note that the constraints are fixed as I’ve explained them above; you are alone, you have just a BB gun, and whatever else you might find in the woods (rocks, etc).

Posted by Anthony on May 16, 2004 | 6 replies
Filed under: General

Comments:

01. May 17, 2004 at 04:16am by Jack Handy:

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

02. May 17, 2004 at 10:20am by always myself:

I would probably stay still, and wait. Unless, the bear starts chewing my arm off. Hopefully he’ll move away and keep his distance. Then I’d run. Lets just hope I’m not confronted by a bear anytime soon...

03. May 17, 2004 at 10:29am by Mike:

I would defend myself only if the U.N. and France let me.

04. May 17, 2004 at 11:14am by Patrick Copland:

Those are some deep thoughts by Jack Handy.

To maximize survival, I would confront the bear if it was just approaching me.  I would turn towards the bear, but slowly walk backwards to maintain distance.

If the bear was running, I would run.  Fully grown bears cannot climb trees, but they can rock them to make you fall out.  I realize you cannot outrun a bear, but he might lose interest.

05. May 17, 2004 at 02:11pm by always myself:

mike that’s hilarious.

06. May 18, 2004 at 01:52am by Anthony:

Holy cow Mike... that is a hall-of-fame post.  I laughed out loud when I read it, and again the second time I read it : )

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